Not a horror film by any stretch of the imagination, LITTLE GIRL WHO LIVES DOWN THE LANE is a promising little thriller about a precocious young girl with crooked teeth who seemingly lives all by herself in a big house with no parental guidance. So what? That's EVERY kid nowadays, right? Ahh, but hold on - there's a creepy Martin Sheen who wants to get in her Garanimals, an even creepier magician kid who wouldn't know what to do if he did, and a school board member who actually HITS Jodie Foster - so much for PC films in the mid-70s!
HEY, MY SON CHARLIE'S SINGLE THIS WEEK. WHADDYA SAY?
The film looks like a Made-for-TV job (and might be, I'm just too lazy to check), and its promise of a really big payoff never delivers. The only "horror" element comes late, and would be a shock only if you were raised like a veal and have never seen another horror movie in your life. And speaking of horror, yes, little Jodie does have a nude scene - but don't get too excited. At this early age, she's still got the body of a pit bull. Hey, look, in 1976, I'm sure this film was scary as fuck. I mean, we shit our pants watching THE MANITOU, forgodsake! But in 2010, it's only of interest to pedophiles and Jodie Foster fans. So if you aren't John Hinckley Jr. or R. Kelly, keep moving...
JODIE FOSTER'S FIRST NUDE SCENE. HOTCHA!
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