A CAREFUL CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF 20TH CENTURY FILM AND ITS PSYCHOMETAPHYSICAL RAMIFICATIONS UPON POPULAR CULTURE. AND SHIT LIKE THAT.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

TOKYO GORE POLICE (2008)

YEP, LOOKS LIKE A SNAPPER.

There's no question the Japanese are messed up, but just HOW messed up, well, that's still open for debate. Take TOKYO GORE POLICE. Please. It's got cute schoolgirls with giant alligator jaws for legs, key-shaped tumors that split apart on your arms when they're inserted into a flesh keyhole, and dominatrix Gimp dogs who walk on legs made of samurai blades. If all this sounds a little...well, weird, let's face it, you gotta try really hard to shock people in a country where can still buy used panties in a sandwich bag in the back of your local grocery store.


SHE'S HOT, BUT SHE TAKES FOREVER TO GET READY IN THE MORNING.


Remember that fat kid in the 8th grade who tried way too hard to be your friend? He might've been a decent friend if he didn't try too hard. Well, TOKYO GORE POLICE is that fat kid. This film tries real hard to gross you out - the only problem is - the gore is so fake, it makes BLOODSUCKING FREAKS look like an autopsy film.


MY KINDA GIRLS.

TOKYO GORE POLICE is neither creepy nor repellant like AUTOPSY or OLDBOY, but it's also not as bad as MEATBALL MACHINE or MACHINE GIRL. It's also not nearly as fun as VERSUS or STORY OF RIKKI-OH, even though these photos might make you think otherwise. It's sorta like a Ren and Stimpy live action film, a Saturday morning cartoon for kids who like to torture small animals. Or grown-ups who still buy soiled underwear in Zip-Loc baggies.


SUBTLETY IS NOT THIS FILM'S STRONG POINT.

No comments: