When stupid people do stupid things and wind up dead because of it, I don't consider that horror. Is there a genre called "Satisfying Darwinism?" Because this film qualifies. This family is so dumb, they make the Palin family reunion look a Mensa convention. There's one scene where the dad tells his son to get away from the door so he can chop it down with an axe. He takes three big swings, lifts back the axe and suddenly finds there's blood on the end of it. So what does he do? Starts furiously chopping at the door even more! Gee, thanks, Dad!
SHE'S GOT A VERY SHARP SENSE OF HUMOR, THAT ONE.
Even by Fulci standards, this blows - nothing really even starts happening until after an hour (and it's 1:27 long so go figure). Even for gorehounds, there's a ton of red syrup but precious little grue. Even the title's wrong. One family tombstone does not a cemetery make. Look, if you want a really scary movie, rent something with Pauly Shore in it.
SUCKS WHEN THE MAKEUP DEPARTMENT RUNS OUT OF MONEY MID-FILM.
WAY SCARIER THAN ANY ZOMBIE.
GOT THERE LONG BEFORE TRUE BLOOD, THANK YOU.
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